Raising a Foodie

I'm a relatively new mom - my first is almost 10 mos old - and one of my primary goals for her physical and spiritual well-being is to raise a non-picky, social eater. Why is this?

I want her to enjoy the full range of God's gifts of food. This means that, yes, I am raising an omnivore, but I hope a responsible one. In our home, we eat meat maybe once a week, sometimes less. This is primarily for financial reasons: we refuse to purchase meat that isn't organic, free-range, sustainably raised, etc., and this necessitates our eating meat much less often than the average American, who can pick up chicken thighs for 99 cents a pound (one of our favorite quotes is from Jamie Oliver: A chicken, which was once a living being, shouldn't cost less than a pint of beer). Because we eat meat less often, and not from industrial production, we contribute to the reduction of all the nastiness that factory meat production brings to our world: environmental devastation (esp greenhouse gases), animal suffering/commodification, worker accidents/forced labor, and all the health problems that come from over-consumption of animal products.

If one day she announces that she cannot, in good conscience, eat meat any longer, I will honor that decision. Fortunately I've tried (and failed) being both vegan and vegetarian, so I have a great shelf of cookbooks to pass along.

Another way I'm raising her to love food (and therefore love the earth, and her body, and God's gifts) is by not holding back when it comes to flavor. She's not even 10 months old, and already some of her favorite dinners have been beets with goat cheese, coconut curry, sweet potato gnocchi with rustic pine nut sauce, and potato-green garlic soup. She loves brussels sprouts and broccoli, tofu and garlic. She loves many things that I couldn't stand as a child (onions are the big thing I hated - I can't even imagine cooking without them now! - so I make her eat them nearly every day). Of course, I'm told this could all change later, especially in the toddler years. But for now, I'm trying to give her palate a good workout at every meal.

I actually started this before she was born, and during her breastfeeding months. I ate a wide variety of foods, particularly focusing on spicy foods and vegetables. I've read that babies whose mothers ate lots of broccoli while they were in utero come out liking it, so I loaded up on broccoli and spinach and whatever else. It seems kind of obvious that in a lot of the world babies probably aren't treated with the kid gloves we use (though they are breastfed longer), and so I have held back on super hot but certainly not flavorful spices. She gets lots of curry, garlic, onions, peppers, ginger, and so forth. I try not to give her anything bland - while maintaining the natural taste of the food, of course. Can't mask the flavor, or she'll never truly love the food itself. Gotta enhance flavors...that's something I'm slowly learning to do.

Actually it's important for me to say that Maggie was breastfed exclusively for five months, and mostly until seven months, and even now she goes through periods (this last week has been one) when she prefers breastmilk to anything else. Right now she is sick, and she's gone off solids to the point where her poop has changed back to that lovely mustard yellow color (hey, it doesn't stink, and it isn't that unpleasant to look at either). I'm glad she still wants to nurse so much, because I rely on that to give her the majority of her nutrients. It lets me off the hook for making sure she gets balanced solid-food meals. :)

Most of my thoughts on this have already been laid out in this post on my other blog. But I should mention that I read a lovely story in Nigella's fabulous How to Eat about when she was pregnant and had the chance to chat up an OB at a party. He told her that breastmilk changes not only in nutritional content as the baby grows and her needs change, but also it varies in flavor depending on what Mom's been eating. So, Nigella concluded, breastfeeding is really the best way to begin introducing variety in eating to a child!

Isn't that the coolest thing? As a species, our most natural way of beginning life has been designed to include variety, to begin priming the palate for future adventure. What a wonderful concept. But we probably shouldn't make too big a deal of it, or we'll wind up with flavored formula from scientists trying to replicate the goodies.

The fact is, introducing a child to the wonders of food in all its variety, color, flavor, and creative potential is just about the funnest thing I've ever done. And I really look forward to the days when she'll be big enough to help in the vegetable garden and the kitchen. She's been going to the farmer's market practically since birth, and she already spends many hours watching us cook. I try to talk her through everything I'm doing, all the recipes and techniques. Now and then I let her play with flour or something messy; usually I let her bang around with some kitchen tools. Poor child had only one toy for a long time - a spoontula!

I do live in a place of tension, however. I simply can't be perfect in what I feed her, and it is only going to get worse. At first, we tried very hard to only feed her organic. Then that kept getting messed up - sometimes accidentally, sometimes because we couldn't afford otherwise. Plus you go to grandma's and all your good intentions go out the window; or you eat out, and God only knows what they've been doing to the food (the one thing you can count on, according to Anthony Bourdain, is that your food is swimming in butter). So I do my best: she mostly gets organic produce and only organic meat, but I've had to compromise on most grains. I try to only buy conventional of the safer produce, and with dairy, if I can't get organic I at least get it without rBST and other hormones. Of course, since we went on the government WIC program, we can't get any organic on that (which is saying something about the government's priorities), and we don't usually get to be choosy at the food pantry either (but there is a lot of organic that shows up there, thankfully).

It's a constant struggle, a constant compromise. I do what I can: I found a store that takes WIC and only sells cage-free eggs: voila! I snap up organic when it's at the pantry. I've researched the dairies providing our WIC stuff and found the ones whose methods I can live with. Yeah, it's a hell of a lot of work, and I wish I didn't have to do it, but I'm not going to trust the government - or the industrial food complex - to provide the highest level of nutrition as well as protection for animals, farmworkers, and the environment. That just ain't gonna happen: it's a business, first and foremost. A business, I might add, whose co-opting of the words "natural" and "organic" is driving me insane!

But anyway, back to feeding the baby.

Beyond the issues of organic vs. non and all that trendy green stuff, I live with tension about her nutrition. Of course I would love for her to only have a taste for vegetables and whole wheat bread, and only want to drink water (and eventually, wine). I would be so relieved if she didn't have to struggle with her weight like I do. I would be proud if she ate for maximum nutritional value.

But you know, there's a lot to be said for taste as well. And I don't care how you dress it up, tofu or seitan are never going to be remotely like a steak swimming in butter and blue cheese. Whole wheat pasta is hard and chewy. There are times in life that call for ice cream and cake. Would life be worth living without french fries and potato chips? (I don't mean the fake kind, I mean fresh and homemade)

Plus, I'm a big old hypocrite if I don't let her eat some treats now & then. Lord knows only my Haagen-Dazs has gotten me through several dark periods. I sometimes get a craving for fast food (that I can usually quell) or a snack cake (which I try to feed with real cake instead). But I have my major weaknesses, and there's just no way I can explain away the fact that I love that horrible hydrogenated grocery store bakery white cake, and that's what I want on my birthday every year, with extra frosting. And yes, I eat it for breakfast on my birthday, and every day thereafter until it is gone. Thank God I moved away from Pasadena; there I also had to have a particular restaurant's cheese fries once a year. At least I've moved on from that.

But really. How can I give my child fruit-sweetened cake with no topping? What about the time-honored tradition of her smearing the frosting all over herself? How will we have the appropriate first birthday photos? This isn't just fun in my family of origin: it's a bona fide rite of passage. It's tradition.

We will see. My husband is averse to mess and may win the day on the birthday cake. Got a couple months to figure it out.

The other reasons I'm raising my little foodie are found in the more intangible benefits of truly enjoying eating. I speak here of fellowship with other human beings, the satisfaction of being able to appreciate fine food, knowing your meal was prepared with love and care, and the connection, I believe, that we make to our spiritual selves when we acknowledge the provision of our food, the bounty of this incredible world, and the care and attention with which we are fed with so much diversity and flavor and fun by God. And it involves feeding others: you cannot fully enjoy filling your belly if your neighbor is hungry. And, of course, it will involve our religion, for we believe that God has fed us with Godself, and continues to do so week after week, becoming, literally, part of us, as we ingest the Divine.

I feel like, when I feed my little girl, I'm not only teaching her about how to taste. I'm teaching her about how to be human - how to be fully human (which, according to Iraneaus of Lyons, is the glory of God). How to interact with others, how to share the deepest bond we have - the very stuff that gives us life. I'm teaching her to think beyond her own tastes and hunger when choosing what to eat - to consider the farmers, animals, earth. To think about how far her food has traveled and what that's done not only to the environment, but to its composition and flavor.

All of this, of course, I teach only through example at this point. I'm not yet sermonizing at the dinner table (though that day will inevitably come). I do hope she grows up thinking it's so totally normal to eat tomatoes only in season that she wouldn't dream of trying to find one in winter. I want her to look for all the colors of the rainbow on her plate and protest when there's no vegetables. I want her to be lonely if she tries to eat alone, to feel it's not really a meal without company, believing it normative to eat with family or friends and share lively conversation. And I want her to see every meal as an occasion: an opportunity to share love, friendship, creativity, and deliciousness. Every meal can be a feast; every bite, God's love made edible.

Bon Appetit.